There’s this place where I live called “Jimmy’s Food Store” and it is, as you might expect, a store where food is sold.  But oh what food it is!  Italian comestibles dripping with Italian deliciousness, sold with Italian gusto to Italians and non-Italians alike.  At Jimmy’s Food Store you can get an Italian meatball sandwich that will bring tears to your eyes. You will literally be crying as you eat it because it is so tasty, and you’ll be crying after you’ve eaten it because you’ll be so sad it’s …

If I were about to be shot from a cannon like one of those people at the circus who are routinely shot from cannons, I’d wear a sumo-sized foam suit and I’d also demand that the spot where I’d expect to land would be covered in fluffy chunks of foam as well.  I’d want foam strewn pretty much everywhere to absorb the force of my impact because I don’t enjoy the prospect of danger.  I guess that’s why I’m not a circus performer.  Let’s face it: people wouldn’t exactly be thrilled watching someone being shot from …

This morning when you got up and went to perform routine maintenance on your mohawk, did you reach for hair mousse?  Did you later play in the surf at the shore, feeling tiny bubbles of sea foam bursting around your ankles?  Have you ever encountered a rabid dog frothing at the mouth?  Have you used a synthetic sponge or eaten bread?  I’m asking all these questions because if you answered yes to any of them then you’re already pretty familiar with the general concept foam and it won’t be as taxing for me …